Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
