Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize