ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
