We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Randomize
