If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
