I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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