did you get engaged???
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
