So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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