You're a womanizer and a bitch.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
