so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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