I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Is it penis luge time yet?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
