We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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