Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
