i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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