one two three fourrrrnication!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
