Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
