Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
