I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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