She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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