wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
