dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
