Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
