Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize