it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
