Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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