Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
