He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
