You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
