i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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