Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
