I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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