DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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