even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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