Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize