I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
