Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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