I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
