I'm jealous of your bromance
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
