I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
return my video game
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
