Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
