I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
