I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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