Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
