Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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