Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
