Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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