im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
