the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
