Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
