Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
