you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize