ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
