He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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