my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
