is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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