I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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