You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
