I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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