Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
