you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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