You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize