so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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