Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
