Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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