It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize