So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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